More tranny stories later!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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