thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
