If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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