too bad you live with your parents still
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
