he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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