Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
