1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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