People with herpes should wear stickers.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
