Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
