Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
