i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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