he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
