I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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