Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
