Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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