Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
