Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
