So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
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