So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
