This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
