what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
