I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
