YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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