never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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