seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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