Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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