We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
