am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize