Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize