My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
