What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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