It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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