her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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