Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
