gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
