Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
either way he was missing a nipple.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
