Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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