I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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