Soap is not a condiment
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize