420 ftw
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
cat food counts as protein by the way
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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