It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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