i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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