Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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