Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Enjoy the penises
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
