to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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