I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think a kid would responsible me up
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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