obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
