btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
