they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
