well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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