its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a hot homeless man
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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