eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
