I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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