obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
