i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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