Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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