Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
