i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize