White coat. Heels.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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